Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Dog days...




This is Beckett going through his "touch" command exercises as a means of him advancing to a human for a purpose. It lessens the fear and anxiety of a moment if he can focus on something to do when nervous.




Before I get into this too much, I just want to say to those that read this, it is MY mind in here, not a platform for social acceptance reviews or such. It is what it is, and a true snapshot at any given moment in our experience with Beckett.




We are in the midst of trying to adopt another dog, but this one is not a Miller dog. I couldn't deal with two. I have this one project thank you very much and I don't know how I've made it this far some days! Both Darrin and I have always thought two dogs were necessary in our house and for that reason, plus Beckett really needs a companion, we're working hard to find the perfect second dog. Abby is presently being 'sought' for us but her adoption fell through a week ago so we're not going to count our chickens until they hatch, as they say. She apparently is once again going to be given up. We'll see...





You know, my life with Beckett has become sort of a win-whine setup. LOL He had made me realize how awful a lot of dogs have it, and for the most part for entirely preventable reasons. I use the word "awful" but it doesn't even begin to describe what he must have gone through. It is bad enough when dogs become victims of the human condition such as economic or physical hardship but with the millers, the situation is entirely preventable. Maybe if I explain OUR personal journey with Beckett others may understand why I am going to these lengths when a lot of our friends think we're insane to continue to put so much into a dog.

Our little guy has had his entire life flipped upside down from the start and now he has to work more than most people will ever know just in order to be 'almost' normal. I can say he now knows what 'happy' is because of the processes we have undertaken and the pure stubbornness of myself and Darrin to not give up. (gawd knows there are days I wonder how I will get through it... I'll explain that in a moment)

Just as you would expect a human to never be the same after being caged from birth, you honestly can't expect an abused miller dog to ever be normal. We will never be able to trust Beckett to just run and play freely without precautions. I could be wrong, but I won't set my sights on that. I am truly hoping that he gets over his fear biting once he has had a companion dog in the family for a spell, and he will want to be handled just from seeing the other dog enjoying it.

Before we go to bed, we still block off the kitchen area because, for some reason, Beckett will still pee on one of the corners. We put everything up high as if he were a two year old child because Beckett still roams at night and gets into things when left open. This is a miller experience condition as I understand it, since it was the time the dogs were without the threat of humans. Anything with our smell on it is considered fair game because, although he doesn't want to cuddle with us, our belongings are fair game! We are weaning him off his 'meds' now because he has gone past the constant bio-release response when he's scared around us. We gush at the gentle lick of his tongue on our foreheads when we kneel before him like he was royalty, we laugh at the goofy dodge game he plays while never actually touching us while out for a walk, and we name things we do so he isn't startled. He knows what a "patcha" is when we want to stroke his coat at arm's length a "paw" when we need to touch or untangle his leg, and what "ear" is when one gets stuck over on it's side and is driving me nuts. I never had to "think" so much when trying to live with a dog.


Here is a perfect example of how your reactions get tested when dealing with an extreme case of "Miller dog" in your home. Last night Beckett began to howl at about 1:15 am. I thought he was having a bad dream so I got up went to the top of the stairs and called down to him saying "it's all right.. go night night" then went back to bed. An hour later he began to howl again and I knew it wasn't a dream this time. There must have been coyotes out on the back property so I went down stairs and slept on the sofa so he'd settle down and sleep on his bed. Near dawn I went back to my bed only to be awoken by Beckett licking my hand that hung over the side of the bed. I remember thinking "awww... that is sweet. It's the first time he came into the bedroom and he's licking me.. how great is that" .. then reality set in. I realized that Beckett had come into our room as part of his boredom from roaming again. This time, he had taken both of my very expensive hearing aids and chewed them into tiny pieces! In my mind I'm seeing dollar signs and a total loss of ability to work until they get replaced. My job is in sales and if I can't talk on the phone, I am lost!

Normally I would have lept out of bed and freaked out. Instead I instantly realized there was nothing I could do at the moment and therefore just shoved the rising anger and frustration back inside as I gently slid out of bed and spoke to him in the "sweet" tone. There you have it. One second your world is fluffy and sweet with the thought of the dog having reached another level of comfort around you and the next second, the horror finding out that you've lost 3500 worth of vital electronic merchandse. I remember days long ago when my dogs just 'were' and they wrapped their lives around ME! LOL



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